Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Blonde Burglary
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once a nd
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Hoya
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It was election time and the politician decided to go out to the
local reservation and try to get the Native American vote.
They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech.
The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was
getting more and more excited.

"I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"

The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!".

The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was
encouraged by their enthusiasm.

"I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"

"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native
Americans!"

The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and
saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch,
and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer
to take a look at the cattle.

"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya..."

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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
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-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Poison
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A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.'

The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?'

The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.'

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?'

The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?'

The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to
her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.'
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?'

The man said yes and the Rabbi replied,
'Take the poison.'

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Gem Depot
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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
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-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 25th October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 25th October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Old Cowboy
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An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 24th October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 24th October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Easter Bunny
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"A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 23rd October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 23rd October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Special Golf Ball
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Two golfing friends were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other ball?", he asked.

"Nope, I only need one ball."

"Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?"

"This is a very special golf ball. You can't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"What do you mean you can't lose it! What happens if you slice your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay, this special golf ball senses when it's under water and it puts out a steam of bubbles. I'll be able to retrieve it. You can't lose this ball"

"Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?"

"No problem, you see, this ball can detect the long grass and it sends up puffs of fluorescent smoke. I'll be able to see it easily. You can't lose this ball"

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?. What are you going to do then?"

"That's okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it makes a beeping sound. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

"I found it."

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 22nd October, 2009

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 22nd October, 2009 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Great Gift
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Two old guys were chatting.....

One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday.
The wife gave me an SUV".

Other guy responded: "Wow, that's amazing!!.....
Imagine, an SUV!!.. What a great gift!"

First guy: "Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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