Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 16th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 16th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Dear Abby
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Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your
advice on what could be a crucial decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
It's the usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently - although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just don't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my boat next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my boat, that I noticed that the lower unit seemed to be leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Worried Sick in Indiana

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 15th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 15th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Latest Tiger Woods update...
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Seems Elin Woods can do better than Tiger could ever hope for...

Tiger Woods now knows that Elin is obviously better with a 9-iron than Tiger could ever hope to be..He swings, 10 million people watching live and on TV, gets one ball to go maybe 180 yards, for $1.8 million

Elin swings, takes out 2 teeth and a lip, 2 car windows, one Escalade, a fire hydrant and a tree, the whole damn world watching...gets $500 million for it...

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Gem Depot
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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 14th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 14th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Blonde Password
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During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 13th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 13th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Final Exam
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

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Gem Depot
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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 12th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 12th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Mirror
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A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror... She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

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http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 11th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 11th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Five Rules For Men
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Five Rules For Men To Follow To a Happy Life:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,* *
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you* *
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust* *
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed* *
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women* *
do not know each other.*

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 10th January, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 10th January, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Three Hillbillies
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Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ' machines!"

1st Hillbilly says: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly says: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"

3rd Hillbilly says: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer
wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer
some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"

3rd Hillbilly says: "She ain't got no pecker.

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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