Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 9th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 9th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Too Hot
-------------------------

It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
complained a man to his wife as he stepped
out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think
the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn
like this?"

she replied. "Probably that I married you for
your money."

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110109

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 8th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 8th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Two Beggars
-------------------------

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.
One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many
people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the
cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to
the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David
and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country, this city is the seat of Catholicism.
People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting
beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to
the other beggar with the cross and said:

"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about
marketing.

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110108

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Miss America
-------------------------

They wanted to allow divorced women to compete in the Miss America pageant.
Was that a good idea?

Do you really want to hear, "My dreams for the future include world peace,
and that my ex-husband gets killed by a bus."

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110106

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Loft
-------------------------

Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.

After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".

So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"

Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft " ?

To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent "

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110105

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 3rd January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 3rd January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Pun of the Day
-------------------------

A man walks into a bar, he sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?"

The barman replies, "It's a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night."

"Great!" says the man, "but what if I can't reach them?"

"Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night," the barman answers.

"Do you want to try?"

"No, but thanks anyway."

"Why not?", asks the barman.

"The steaks are too high."

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110103

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 2nd January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 2nd January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
An Indecent Proposal
-------------------------

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, young man entered.

He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward them.

Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.

The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she gladly pressed into the young man's hand.

She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly and meaningfully said:
"Clean my house."

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110102

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 1st January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 1st January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Cold Cream
-------------------------

Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face..

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110101

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml