Funny Jokes Corner

Monday, January 17, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 17th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 17th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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A Hole Problem
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After
the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had
been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered.

The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He
couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a
mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem.

The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only
one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"

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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 16th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 16th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Redneck Divorce
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110116

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 15th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 15th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Skeleton
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A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room
for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not
be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton
in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should
call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet
and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They
said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more,
they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "We
are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know
if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."

The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of
important."

"Well, who was it?"

"The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Friday, January 14, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 14th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 14th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Logic
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The reason there are so many problems between men and women is that
they have such different views of sex and relationships.

Women want a relationship without the complication of unnecessary sex.

Men want sex without the complication of an unnecessary relationship.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 12th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 12th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Gone Fishing
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A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go
fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of
his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for
me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack
me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.

We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my
things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk panamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she
does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he
comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife
welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes!

Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you
pack my new blue silk panamas like I asked you to do?"

"I did, they're in your tackle box."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110112

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 11th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 11th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Signs In Heaven
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Bob dies and goes to the pearly gates where he waits in line. As he draws
closer he sees there are two lines; a short one and a long one. He walks to
the front of the long line and sees a sign written above the head of the angel
in charge:

THIS WAY TO HELL>> MEN WHO LET WOMEN WEAR THE PANTS
He decides that this line is just way to long and goes around to the other line
where a sign reads;
THIS WAY TO HEAVEN>> GUYS WITH BALLS

There is only one person in this line and he is a small, frayed and withered
old man. Bob just has to know and so he asks, "Why are you in this line? I
mean are you the only one going to heaven?"

The little man turns to him and whispers gently, "Keep your voice down, Lillith
told me to stand here!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 10th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 10th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Marriage and Haunting
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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old bastard dig. I had him buried upside down......."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Monday, January 17, 2011

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Friday, January 14, 2011

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Monday, January 10, 2011

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