Funny Jokes Corner

Monday, January 24, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 24th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 24th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Gift
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On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.
She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?

"No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 23rd January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 23rd January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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22 MPH
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110123

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 22nd January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 22nd January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Sparrow
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Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by where he had fallen, and crapped on the little sparrow.The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings!

Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing.

Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

The Moral of the Story:
Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy
Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend.
And if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110122

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Friday, January 21, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 21st January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 21st January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Blonde Phone Call
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"Hi Mom, How are you?"

"Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace
Hardware"

"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call"

"What happened?"

"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."

"What on earth ~ why did you do that ?????"

"Well it wasn't my fault.Dad told me to find a Black & Decker ."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110121

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 20th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 20th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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What Does A Kiss Taste Like?
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One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a
little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss
in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"

"No, I don't," said the little boy.

"Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy
wants from your Mom before he goes to work."

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out!
It's a piece of Ass.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110120

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 19th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 19th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Two Drops
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A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said,
"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it's today."

The bartender said, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one's on me."

As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, "I'd like
to buy you a drink, too." The lady said, "Thank you, how sweet of
you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of
water."

"Coming up," said the bartender.

As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink too." The lady said, "Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch, with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender said.

As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman giggled, and replied, "Sonny, when you're my age,
you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 18th January, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 18th January, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Grandma's Boyfriend
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A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one
day. He played with his toys in her bedroom while grandma
was dusting. He looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom
and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel
so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the
TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was
terrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the
picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV
hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried
to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom bangin' her
boyfriend."

The minister fainted.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20110118

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Monday, January 24, 2011

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Friday, January 21, 2011

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

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