Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 9th March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 9th March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Living at Home
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An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable
to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small
test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey,
and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping
he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be
a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but
if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be
a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited
nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son
arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the
light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the
Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he
grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff
to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room
carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even
worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's gonna be a politician." the father replied.

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 8th March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 8th March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Late Blonde
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"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress
walked into the bar.

"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there
was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying
in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was
fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that
first-aid course.

"What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Alaskan Birthday Party
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Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there's a big, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away....Having a birthday party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5...

"Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Team Spirit
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At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young
players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together
as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at
first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you
understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your
mother."

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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 4th March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 4th March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Terrible News
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Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun.' "

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just about anything else.
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we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 3rd March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 3rd March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Who Am I?
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One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.

Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.
We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."

The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."

The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times."

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 2nd March, 2011

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 2nd March, 2011 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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A Hole Problem
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After
the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had
been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered.

The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He
couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a
mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem.

The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only
one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"

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just about anything else.
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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

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