Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 7th February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 7th February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Thermos
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A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold."

"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing... I'm going to buy it!" So
she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss, who
is also blonde, saw it on her desk.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied.

"Wow, that's amazing," said the boss, "what do you have in it?"

"Two Popsicles and some coffee."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Young Preacher
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A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold
a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone
with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got
himself lost, making several wrong turns.

He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the
workmen were eating lunch.

The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in
place. Taking out his book, he read the service.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say:
"Think we should tell him it's a septic tank?"

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Cabbie and the Nun
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices the very
handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask
you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and
have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I
would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that, number 1,
you have to be single and number 2, you must be Catholic."

The ! cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and
Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get
back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me for I have sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK.

My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 4th February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 4th February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Strangers
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I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the
Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.
"How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who
looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes?
Wouldn't you be a bit scared?"

"Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 3rd February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 3rd February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Lawyer on Vacation
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A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 2nd February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 2nd February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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More Deep Thoughts
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Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

If FED EX and UPS were to merge, would they call it EF'D UP?

Everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of us are out of film.

How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!

If a deaf kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 1st February, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 1st February, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crab. A female
crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator,
which she did.

The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible
for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant at her about what would
happen if she let them thaw out. She was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she announced over the
intercom to the
entire cabin, 'Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans ,
please raise your hand?'

Not one hand went up..so she took them home and ate them herself. Men never
learn!

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