Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 10th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 10th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Sex Drive
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A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive
is all in your head?"

"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want
it lowered!"

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 10th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 10th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Sex Drive
-------------------------

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive
is all in your head?"

"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want
it lowered!"

-------------------------
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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20120310

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 9th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 9th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Dead Goldfish
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 8th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 8th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Shortest Joke
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Nominated as the best short joke this year:

A three-year-old boy was examining
his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 7th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 7th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh
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(Who thinks up these things ???)

Vincent's dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh

His brother who ate prunes------------------------- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------------------- U Gogh

His magician uncle -------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin ------------------------------------ A Mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle ------------------------------------- Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt -------------------------------- Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh

The fruit-loving cousin -------------------------------------- Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------------ Way-to-Gogh

The little bouncy nephew ----------------------------------- Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco---------------------------------- Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling . . .. There ya Gogh

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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William
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A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.
It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William .......the little sh*t's name is Kevin."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Hardware Store
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Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he
sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw
a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.

When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for the teapot.

Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lottamoney!" Mary exclaimed. Then she
proceeded to describe the hinge that Harlow had sent her to buy,
and Carl went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"

Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.

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