Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 31st March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 31st March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Local Brothels
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A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check
out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, "Is
this a union house?"

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the Madame.

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked.

"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street
in search of a more equitable shop.

At the second one, he asked the Madame, "Is this a union house?"

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the Madame.

"If I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked again.

"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."

Again offended, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more
equitable shop.

His search continued until he finally reached a brothel where the Madame said,
"Why yes, this is a union house."

"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he questioned.

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a
stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the night."

"I'm sure you would, sir", said the Madame while gesturing to a grotesque woman
in her seventies in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Grandma's Revenge
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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and
headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm
surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water
guns?"

Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 29th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 29th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Anal Glaucoma
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A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

he says,"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

she replies,"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Ultrasonic Waves
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A brash young man strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly
attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his
watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Your date running late?'

'No, no...', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I
was just testing it.'

The woman, intrigued, asks: 'Wow! A state-of-the-art watch? So, what's
special about it?'

'Well, it uses ultrasonic waves to telepathically talk to me,' he explains.

'Interesting...so what's it telling you now?'

'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...'

The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am
wearing panties!'

The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast!'

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Heart Advice
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The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:

Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Test
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Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.

This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right..

While at the funeral of her own mother, a woman met a man who she did not know. She thought he was 'amazing'. She believed him to be her dream partner so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What was her motive for killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below..

Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear again at her sister's funeral. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.

This was a test developed by a famous American psychologist, used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly... If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.

If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my e-mail list.

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 25th March, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 25th March, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Cowboy Boots
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A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on
a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big
feet are well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady.
Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody
ever paid me fer mah services before."

"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

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