JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Last Request
-------------------------
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said,
"Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will
have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "What do you want me to do with
your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail
them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope,
"Now, you have everything."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130430
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 29th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 29th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
The Bridge
-------------------------
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord
said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly
exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to
justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of
something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to
know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says "nothing's wrong",
and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130429
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
The Bridge
-------------------------
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord
said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly
exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to
justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of
something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to
know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says "nothing's wrong",
and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130429
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Did God Make You?
-------------------------
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130428
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
Did God Make You?
-------------------------
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130428
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Choking
-------------------------
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
.
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130427
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
Choking
-------------------------
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
.
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130427
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Friday, April 26, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Face Lift
-------------------------
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.
On his way home he pops into the newsagent and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35" was the reply.
"I'm actually 47 years old" the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into the Fish & Chip shop to celebrate. Before leaving, he asks the same question, to which the reply is "Oh, you look about 29" This makes him feel really good.
Whilst standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your trousers and play for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
Being as there was nobody around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his trousers.
Ten minutes later the old lady says "You are 47 years old."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in the Chip shop"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130426
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
Face Lift
-------------------------
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.
On his way home he pops into the newsagent and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35" was the reply.
"I'm actually 47 years old" the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into the Fish & Chip shop to celebrate. Before leaving, he asks the same question, to which the reply is "Oh, you look about 29" This makes him feel really good.
Whilst standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your trousers and play for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
Being as there was nobody around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his trousers.
Ten minutes later the old lady says "You are 47 years old."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in the Chip shop"
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130426
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 25th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 25th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Cowboy Logic
-------------------------
A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were
presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the
coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using
the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator,
the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the
males castrated and let loose again and the population would be
controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep
Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of
minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat
back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those
coyotes ain't f*ckin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130425
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
Cowboy Logic
-------------------------
A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were
presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the
coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using
the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator,
the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the
males castrated and let loose again and the population would be
controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep
Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of
minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat
back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those
coyotes ain't f*ckin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130425
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 24th April, 2013
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 24th April, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Valentine Card
-------------------------
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?'' asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130424
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
-------------------------
Valentine Card
-------------------------
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?'' asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20130424
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)