Funny Jokes Corner

Friday, November 17, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 17th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 17th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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A Job
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Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am .
While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA )
Was perking, he shaved with his
Electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG).
He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA),
Designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and
Tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new
Electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA)
He sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO)
To see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN)
To the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search
For a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging
And fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL)
Poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE)
And turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),

And then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.





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Thursday, November 16, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 16th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 16th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Murphy's Law in Sex
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1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.


>/p>

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Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 15th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 15th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Heart Attack
-------------------------

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a
heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up
his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying over
here and you're putting?"

"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the
second hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks feebly?

"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him
play through."






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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 14th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 14th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Service
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."


"Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"

The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,
"Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"

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Monday, November 13, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 13th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 13th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Grizzly Bear Conflicts
-------------------------

In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear
conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is
advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra
precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They
advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their
clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting
them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray
with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a
good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black
bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and
contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung
has little bells in it and smells like pepper.







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Sunday, November 12, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 12th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 12th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Chapped Lips
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On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After
dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it where
the sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the
whole thing.

"Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked.

"Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied.

The old man asked, "Does that help?"

The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."





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Friday, November 10, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 10th November, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 10th November, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Dietician
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A dietician was once addressing a large
audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs
is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is
awful. Vegetables can be disastrous,
and none of us realizes the germs in our
drinking water. But there is one thing
that is the most dangerous of all and we
all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what
lethal product I'm referring to?, You,
sir, in the first row, please give us
your idea."

The man in the front row lowered his head
and said, "Wedding cake."







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