Funny Jokes Corner

Friday, September 22, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 22nd September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 22nd September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Talking Frog
-------------------------

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,

"Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,


"Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.


The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.



Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have
ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?

I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."




-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170922

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 21st September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 21st September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
The Economy is so Bad...
-------------------------

... That I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

... I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind
the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

... That CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

... If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient
Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

... Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher
than GM.

... McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

... Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and
learned their children's names.

... A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into
Mexico .

.. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

... Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

... The Mafia is laying off judges.

... Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And finally...

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!







-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170921

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 19th September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 19th September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Night Lecture
-------------------------


An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where
he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out
late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of
night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

Don't take life too seriously..........no one makes it out alive anyway!!!




-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170919

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Monday, September 18, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 18th September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 18th September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Sheep Herd
-------------------------

There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"

"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382".

"Wow!" said the herder.

"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?" queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"




-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170918

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 17th September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 17th September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Passing Gas
-------------------------

An elderly couple was attending church services when
about halfway through she leans over and says to him,
"I just had a silent passing of gas, what do you think
I should do?"

He leans over to her and replies, "Put a new battery
in your hearing aid..."





-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170917

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 16th September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 16th September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
25 Signs You've Grown Up:
-------------------------


Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

You watch the Weather Channel.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning
of one.

Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.

You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.

A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never
going to drink that much again."


90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.

You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a
bar.

You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you!!!





-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170916

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Friday, September 15, 2017

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 15th September, 2017

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 15th September, 2017 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Stupidity
-------------------------

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Surfing in Nebraska.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour **** out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Not the brightest light bulb.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Not playing with all 52 cards.
A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
A few feathers short of a full pillow.
Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.
A few links short in a chain.
A door without a handle.
A few bits short of a byte.




-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------


Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20170915

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml