JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 14th April, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Murder Trial
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In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you werent sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The mans brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess its possible he could be out there practicing law
somewhere.
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Tuesday, April 14, 2020
Saturday, April 11, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 11th April, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 11th April, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Fig Leaf
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A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked
into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with
music and dancing but every once in a while the lights
would turn off. Each time after the lights would go
out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when
the revelers saw the nun, the roomwent dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked," May I
please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you
should."
"Why not? " the nun asked.
"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and
his most private part is covered only by a fig leaf. "
"Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other
way."
So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of
the stairs, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a
few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place
was hopping with music and dancing again. However,
they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud
round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't
understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I
went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the
bartender. "Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig
leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the
whole place. Now, how about that drink, Sister
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-------------------------
Fig Leaf
-------------------------
A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked
into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with
music and dancing but every once in a while the lights
would turn off. Each time after the lights would go
out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when
the revelers saw the nun, the roomwent dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked," May I
please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you
should."
"Why not? " the nun asked.
"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and
his most private part is covered only by a fig leaf. "
"Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other
way."
So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of
the stairs, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a
few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place
was hopping with music and dancing again. However,
they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud
round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't
understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I
went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the
bartender. "Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig
leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the
whole place. Now, how about that drink, Sister
-------------------------
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Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 1st April, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 1st April, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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The Rumor
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Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat
a rumor.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely
lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher
came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly
and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about
one of your students...?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell
me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called
the Test of Three."
"Test of Three?"
"That's correct," Socrates continued.
"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a
moment to test what you're going to say. The first
test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what
you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know
if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test,
the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me
about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me
something bad about him even though you're not certain
it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because
there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you
want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell
me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell
it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher
and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that
Plato was banging his wife.
-------------------------
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-------------------------
The Rumor
-------------------------
Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat
a rumor.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely
lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher
came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly
and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about
one of your students...?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell
me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called
the Test of Three."
"Test of Three?"
"That's correct," Socrates continued.
"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a
moment to test what you're going to say. The first
test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what
you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know
if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test,
the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me
about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me
something bad about him even though you're not certain
it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because
there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you
want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell
me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell
it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher
and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that
Plato was banging his wife.
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200401
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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