Funny Jokes Corner: December 2010

Friday, December 31, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 31st December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 31st December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
The Marathon
-------------------------

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work.
One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her
husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, "Hurry! grab your
clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!"

Ralph looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window! It's
raining like hell out there."

Mary cried, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of us!"

So, Ralph grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. When he landed
outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he started
running along side the others, only he was still in the nude, carrying his
clothes on his arm.

One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?"

Ralph answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having
the air blow over your skin while you are running."

Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on
your arm?"

Ralph answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at the
end of the run and get in my car to go home."

Then another runner asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

Ralph answered, "Only if it's raining."

-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101231

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Chicks
-------------------------

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101230

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 29th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 29th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Not Waking The Wife
-------------------------

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!' And, she's always sound asleep."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101229

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Donation
-------------------------

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor
of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It
happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as
the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the
distinctive pink envelope in the plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity,
approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000
a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I
give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do
for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he
practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las
Vegas and one in Reno."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101228

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Monday, December 27, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Last Request
-------------------------

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said,
"Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will
have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "What do you want me to do with
your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail
them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope,
"Now, you have everything."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101227

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Italian Bread
-------------------------

The 87 year old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th it'll be hard?"

He replied, "Holy sh*t ... does everybody in the world know about this Italian bread but ME?!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101226

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Friday, December 24, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 24th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 24th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Growing Old
-------------------------

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.

Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"

George replied, "God and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done."

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great, but I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?"

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101224

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 23rd December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 23rd December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Good News/Bad News
-------------------------

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's soft-ball there."

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, "Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, "Barb, Barb."

"Who is it?" asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Barb, it's me, Rose."

"You're not Rose. Rose just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.

"Rose! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.

"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's Softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," said Barb. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's
the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101223

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 22nd December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 22nd December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
The Sign
-------------------------

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't
getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and
bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his
office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had
taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign
back!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101222

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Monday, December 20, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 20th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 20th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Insuring a Wooden Leg
-------------------------

A man and his wife, moved back home to North Carolina, from Texas. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it
in Texas Was $2000.00 a year!

When they arrived in North Carolina, they went to an insurance Agency, to see how much it would cost to insure
the leg.

The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '$39.00.'

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here In North Carolina to insure, because it cost him
$2000.00 in Texas!

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: *Any
wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101220

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 19th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 19th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Adam's Rib
-------------------------

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a
woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and
when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you.

And will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a
disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children.

And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

"She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and p!!!ion
whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101219

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 18th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 18th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Advice
-------------------------

A man called to testify at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest.

"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."

The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?!"

"Simple", replied the Priest...

"It doesn't matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101218

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Friday, December 17, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 17th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 17th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Drunk Arrest
-------------------------

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him,
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you
say can and will be held against you."

The drunk replies, "Boobs."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101217

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 16th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 16th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Hot Dogs
-------------------------

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might
as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and
they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in
foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a
bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."

The mother superior is first to open hers.She begins to blush and then,
staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers
...cautiously: "What part did you get?

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101216

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 15th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 15th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Old Goat
-------------------------

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday
dinner.

While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the
minister asked their son what they were having.

"Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you
sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as
well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101215

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 14th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 14th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Southern Farmer
-------------------------

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm
and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door. "Is yer
pa home?" he asked.

"No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."

"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?"

"No, she ain't here either. She went to town with pa." "Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?" "No sir, he
went with pa and ma."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one
foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I kin do fer ya'?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know where
all the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message fer
pa."

Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It's about
your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that," he finally
conceded. "I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but
I really don't know how much he gets for Joe."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101214

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Monday, December 13, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 13th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 13th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
50 Dollars
-------------------------

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and
every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that
helicopter".

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that
helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85
years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another
chance."

Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50
dollars is 50 dollars".

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal.
I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the
entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one
word, it's 50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of
fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks
over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot

turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get
you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something
when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101213

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 12th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 12th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Tribe
-------------------------

A young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests, the doctor said, "Well, Running Doe, you are in fine health. I could find no problems. I did notice one abnormality however."

"Oh, what is that, Doctor?"

"Well, you have no nipples."

"None of the people in my tribe have nipples," She replied.

"That is amazing," said the doctor."I'd like to write this up for The Montana Journal of Medicine if you don't mind.

She said, "OK."

"First of all" asked the doctor, "how many people are in your tribe?"

She answered, "Approximately 500."

"And what is the name of your tribe?" Asked the doctor.

Running Doe replied, "We're called

(You know me, I hate to do this to you)

"The Indiannippleless Five Hundred"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101212

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 11th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 11th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
The Fortune Teller
-------------------------

A man goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your wife will die a violent and horrible
death this year."

Visibly shaken, the man stares at the fortune teller's lined face,
then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. He simply had to know. He met the fortune-teller's gaze, steadied his voice, and asked his question:

"Will I be found guilty?"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101211

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 9th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 9th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Broken Lawn Mower
-------------------------

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept
hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the
message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make the
point.

When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the
tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a
toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might
as well sweep the sidewalks."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101209

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 8th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 8th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Young Preacher
-------------------------

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold
a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone
with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got
himself lost, making several wrong turns.

He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the
workmen were eating lunch.

The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in
place. Taking out his book, he read the service.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say:
"Think we should tell him it's a septic tank?"

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101208

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 7th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 7th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Good Advice
-------------------------

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. The long walks we used to take. The long drives.The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give!

Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man.

Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was on 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family.

"And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands."

"How come, Grandpa?" I asked.

"It makes your pecker look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101207

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Monday, December 6, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Lawyer Defending a Thief
-------------------------

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled.

With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101206

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Nuthouse Suicide
-------------------------

After hearing that one of the patients in a
mental hospital had saved another from a
suicide attempt by pulling him out of a
bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's
file and called him into his office.

"Mr. James, your records and your heroic
behaviour indicate that you're ready to go
home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved
later killed himself with a rope around the
neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. James
replied. "I hung him up to dry."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101205

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 4th December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 4th December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
That's How the Fight Started
-------------------------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed,
made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the
garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out
into a torrential downpour. The
wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back,
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is
terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight
started...

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101204

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Friday, December 3, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 3rd December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 3rd December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Games For When We Are Older
-------------------------

1. Sag, You're it.

2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Doc Goose.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Hide and go pee.

9 Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.

10. Musical recliners.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101203

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 2nd December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 2nd December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Female Hormones
-------------------------

Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.

No further testing is planned.

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101202

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 1st December, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 1st December, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

-------------------------
Mourning at a Grave Site
-------------------------

A man placed some flowers on the grave of
his dearly departed mother and started back
toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you
have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to intrude on your private
grief, but this demonstration of pain is more
than I've ever seen before. For whom do you
mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
then replied, "My wife's first husband."

Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

-------------------------

Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20101201

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml

Friday, December 31, 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Monday, December 27, 2010

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Friday, December 3, 2010

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Blog Archive