JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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AARP Banners
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I believe in having sex on the first date.
At my age, there may not be a second date.
Senior Campbell's - New Large Type Alphabet Soup.
I must be getting older . . .
All the names in my phone book end with M.D.
I am not old.
I am chronologically gifted.
Florida . . . God's Waiting Room.
At my age flowers scare me.
I am so old that . . .
whenever I eat out,
they ask me for money up front.
I am so old that . . .
all my friends in heaven
will think I didn't make it.
Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.
One good thing about Alzheimers,
you get to meet new people everyday.
Support BINGO!
Keep Grandma off the streets.
Any day above ground is a good one.
Retirement - Twice as much husband, half as much money.
My wife always gives me sound advice.
99% Sound . . . 1% Advice
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Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Sunday, June 28, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th June, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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2006 Study
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A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.
Not Bad.
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2006 Study
-------------------------
A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.
Not Bad.
-------------------------
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-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200628
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Friday, June 26, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th June, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Engineering Position
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Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."
Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!"
The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."
Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
The manager replied: "Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; "I don't know." You put down, "Neither do I."
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Engineering Position
-------------------------
Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."
Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!"
The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."
Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
The manager replied: "Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; "I don't know." You put down, "Neither do I."
-------------------------
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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Thursday, June 25, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 25th June, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 25th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Bird Recipe
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According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal
bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has
been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey,
abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv."; until the agency received the
following letter from an Arkansas camper:
Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a
crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to
tell you it tasted horrible.
The bands are now marked "Fish & Wildlife Service."
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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Bird Recipe
-------------------------
According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal
bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has
been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey,
abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv."; until the agency received the
following letter from an Arkansas camper:
Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a
crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to
tell you it tasted horrible.
The bands are now marked "Fish & Wildlife Service."
-------------------------
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-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200625
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Friday, June 19, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 19th June, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 19th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Two Bats
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Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
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-------------------------
Two Bats
-------------------------
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200619
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
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Saturday, June 6, 2020
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th June, 2020
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th June, 2020 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
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Golf Fanatic
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On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to
make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might
affect our relationship.
"What is it?" his new bride asked lovingly.
"I'm a golf fanatic," he said. "I think about golf constantly. I'll be out
on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get.
If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always
win."
His new bride pondered this for a moment and said, "I thank you for your
honesty. Now in the same spirit of honesty, I should tell you that I've
concealed something about my own past that you should know about. The
truth is, "I'm a hooker."
"No problem," said her husband, "just widen your stance a little, and
overlap your grip, and that should clear it right up."
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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200606
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
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-------------------------
Golf Fanatic
-------------------------
On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to
make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might
affect our relationship.
"What is it?" his new bride asked lovingly.
"I'm a golf fanatic," he said. "I think about golf constantly. I'll be out
on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get.
If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always
win."
His new bride pondered this for a moment and said, "I thank you for your
honesty. Now in the same spirit of honesty, I should tell you that I've
concealed something about my own past that you should know about. The
truth is, "I'm a hooker."
"No problem," said her husband, "just widen your stance a little, and
overlap your grip, and that should clear it right up."
-------------------------
Advertisements
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Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20200606
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
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