Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 31st July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 31st July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Meet the Boyfriend
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A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girls mom says " Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy. "

" Oh, please, Mom ! " says the daughter. " If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 500 Hrs. of Community Service ? "

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Turkey Loaf
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A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."

"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 29th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 29th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Man Killed On Golf Course
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A foursome of guys is waiting at the mens' tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee.

The ladies are taking their time.

When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet.

Then she goes over and whiffs it completely.

Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,

"I guess all those f*cking lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it!
You should have taken golf lessons instead!"

He never even had a chance to duck.

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Gem Depot
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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Mexican Oysters
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A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico City.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

"What is that you just served?" he asked the waiter.

"Ah senor, you have excellent taste!" the waiter replied. "Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

"What the heck, bring me an order."

"I am so sorry senor," the waiter replied. "There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter.

"These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders.

"Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins..."

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to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 27th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 27th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Locker Room
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A group of guys are in a locker room, when a cell phone rings. One of them picks it up.

Man: " Hello "

Woman: " Honey it's me. Are you at the club ? "

Man: " Yes "

Woman: " Well, I have news. The house we wanted is back on the market. They are asking $950,000."

Man: " Well then, go ahead and make an offer, but make it $1.2 million so we'll be sure to get it."

Woman: " Okay, I'll see you later. I love you ! "

Man : " Bye, I love you too. "

The man hangs up. Then he asks, " Anyone know who's phone this is ? "

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Impossible to Please
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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 25th July, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 25th July, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Salary Theory
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Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

The less you know, the more you make.

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Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com

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