Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 13th December, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 13th December, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Wise Sayings
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
* Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me
neither."
* Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
* Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday .night."
* Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is
the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
* Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist."
* Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
* Camille Paglia & Bill Anderson

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other
eight are unimportant."
* George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships."
* Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what
she's reading."
* Steve Jobs

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it., so
I said "Thyroid problem?'"
*Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for
black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black
pimps."
* Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
* Jack Nicholson

He never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
* Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a
man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women are
too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
* Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
* Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody
naked.'"
* Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman
I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free
peanuts
*Jeff Foxworthy





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