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The Farmer's New Telephone
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There was a farmer out in the country,
a meek little guy who had a speech problem and couldn't
talk right. He got his first telephone, the kind
that hangs on the kitchen wall and has to be cranked
to get the operator.
Soon after it was installed, he tried his
first call. (crank, crank, ring, ring)
"Operator".
"Gimme fvree, fvree, one, fi, pease."
"Excuse me?"
"I wanna talk ta fvree, fvree, one, fi."
"I don't understand you, sir."
"FVREE, FVREE, ONE, FI!"
"Sir, if you want to make a call, you're going
to have to talk plainer than that."
"Oh, yust shtick it up yer ash!" (slammed
the phone down)
The next morning, there was a knock at the
farmer's door. Two very large repairmen from the
phone company were there, and they asked
him if he was the one who had used a profanity
with their operator.
"Yesh, I yam", he said.
The telephone man said "Sir, we don't stand
for our ladies being treated that way. You have
a choice. You can either call her right now and
apologize, or we're going to remove your
telephone."
Without saying a word, the little man walked
to the telephone. (crank, crank, ring, ring)
"Operator".
"Are yew th' lady I told ta
shtick 'dis telephone up her ash?"
Immediately huffy, the operator replied
"I CERTAINLY am!"
"Well, get ready. Dere bringin' it in."
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